It’s a little too easy
for you to spend time without me
A week goes by without a peep
If I don't reach out, we do not speak
And that tells me everything I need to know
I’m in this alone.
So, the door is officially closed.

I won’t look for you; don’t look for me.
I require devotion for us to be.

If I call you “daddy”
what would you say?
Do you like that?
Is that okay?

If I dress as a bunny
with the ears and tail
would you hand cuff me?
put me in naughty bunny jail?

If you asked what I wanted to eat and I said “you”
would you give me your lollipop
or scream “ I meant food”?

If I hug you too long, to bask in your smell,
would you push me away? or let me inhale you in
enjoying the feeling of this playful moment we’re in
before we have to get back to the business of being adults

It’s 9:22pm but there is still daylight in may head.
struggling to fall asleep
wishing you were here with me
I yearn for our cuddles

Its 10 past 10, checking the time again
as an excuse to pick up my phone.
Sleeping alone has gotten comfortable,
but I still long for you hot leg on top of my thigh
holding me in place all night.

12:03 still wide awake
I play a round of after dark DJ
to see if this desire will fade away
and I can finally sleep.
The game ends quietly
I’m imagining you here with me
giving me a round of applause with my thighs and yours.
It doesn’t work

2: 42 Still thinking about you
and the things you do.
I try to take melatonin instead.
how can you miss someone you haven’t met.
Why is a stranger floating in my head
My love, a queen in a king sized bed all alone is strange.
Come home.

3:33 with a weighted blanket on top of me
and more melatonin than a girl could need,
I finally fall asleep.
you name on my lips.
Hoping to see you in my dreams
so we can share a kiss
and reminisce about the times to come.

Come take a shower with me, he said seductively.
The smile on his face instantly let me know
I was in trouble.
Babe, I’m already clean, I respond.
He smiles and nods. “Oh, I know”
I’m feeling a bit dirty, he says
as he kisses my neck,
And when he does that, I know what’s next.

Before I can even protest,
we are in the shower.
Clothes on the floor
wig hanging next to the towels.
I love our tandem showers.
The water running between us as our lips touch
and his fingers explore and knock on every door
til one opens for him
Saying no to this would have been a sin.
A failure to be faithfully blessed
It would be akin to blasphemy to protest.

The devotion and adoration from this man,
He’s down on his knees, and I can barely stand.
holding the walls as I come apart
and thinking through the regret I would feel
If I passed up on this deal to feel like
I’m floating on a cloud made of ecstasy.

Just he and I, in the shower
coming clean

Guapa, ¿por qué lloras?
Te ves como una princesa.
Tus ojos grandes y labios rosas.
¿No entiendes que necesito tu sonrisa?
Es el sol en mi vida.

Bueno, comparto la mía

Tus flores son lo más bonito que he visto en mi vida.
Me pararon en el camino.
Y ahora no puedo dejarlas en paz.

En este dia, quise saber qué tipo de flores eran.
Cómo olían
y si sus pétalos eran delicados

Yo sabía que después de la primavera las flores iban a caer,
y que los frutos iban a surgir.
pero todavía quise mirar las flores en tu árbol.

Aquí estoy en el verano, esperando el cambio
Porque yo sé que tus arándanos van a ser ricos.

I’ve been holding on to ghosts from the past.
Thinking a shared history meant aligned desires for the future
That because I love you that you might love me too.
But I sit alone in my pain.
No one here to wipe my tears or hold my hand.
Crying alone again.

Friend isn’t a word I truly know
Maybe I befriend the darkness, since it won’t go.
That way, I will at least know why it stays.

In college, I would soak pineapples in coconut rum.
I drank so much vodka once, that even the smell of it makes me want to throw myself in a river.

I used to drink full throttle, daily, the blue one, specifically.
The fact that my heart still works is a sign of human resilience.
Up until a point coca-cola was my drink of choice
and if they only had Pepsi, I’d get a sweet tea.

On my desk today, I have 4 cups.
How much hydration does one need?
considering how dehydrated I was in college…
more than you might think.

The Iced Matcha wakes me up,
it gives me energy. I drink it daily.
It keeps me focused in that one meeting
that could have been an email.

Then I need water.
So, I keep that Stanley cup full.
That’s what gets me through the afternoon.

My mug is full of ginger tea,
a little lemon and a splash of honey
for the anti inflammatory effect,
you know, So I can keep those free radicals in check
with anti oxidants.

And like any other human ya girl loves a sweet treat,
a cold glass of lemonade is the choice for me.
Do I believe it is possible that I’m addicted to drinks?
Maybe to the cups the I put them in.
I wouldn’t say I have too much.
though someone else might think differently,
but the cup I use to drink my matcha green tea
needs to be npretty.

Make me a pot of Joumou, cause it’s a new year.
Stepping into it without any fear
Trusting that all the battles are won
and I didn’t even have to pick up my gun,
or pick up my pen.
I was covered like an egg is covered by a hen
They didn’t even know I was there
because I was inside my Father’s house
in the strong tower constructed for me
while the war was waged out in the streets.

The sword was the LORD’s
cutting down my enemies as I slept
paying all my debts
and setting me free
from the misery that tried to follow me

Joy is upon my lips.
Singing of yet another great victory.
I jump and dance and swing my hips
cause the battle was won for me
The LORD of heaven’s armies has restored my dignity
He’s set a crown up on my head
He has called me his very own
and sat me at his right hand on the throne
He has set me free from the chains that tried to bind me
now all I can do is speak of those things

What a testimony of what you have done for me
When Jezebel threatened to kill me,
You laughed at her audacity.
telling her “she belongs to me”
When Balak tried to curse me, you blessed me times three.
When they said Her GOD is of the valleys,
lets fight her in the hills
You showed that that my victory is your will
Why should I shake in fear?
Your kingdom has come near

I am a member of your court.
A child of you house
I can come into your presence
and hear the words flow from your mouth

I am ready to celebrate.
I have my plate and spoon
the smell of Joumou fills the room
I know we will eat soon
Rejoicing in the harvest of leaves, fruits and roots
and we will plant new seeds too
because we know what you can do

Woah! slow down, friend

Naw dawg
that’s too fast
We don’t have to be there in a flash.

We can slow it down
and look around
taking in the quiet moments
We can develop deep intimacy,
me knowing you and you knowing me

We can build a stable foundation
ask the right questions
and grow as friends

Is your name Barry Allen?
You seem to be the fastest man alive
Just give me the key
let me drive
I know the way
and we will arrive alive
with hearts in our eyes
and a love that can survive anything.

If you’re my soul mate,
I will find you in every life
We have an eternity
So don’t worry
Wherever you go,
you’ll always be Barry and I’ll always be Iris
We can take it slow.
We won’t lose this

Diri kole ak sos pwa nwa
add yon ti sos zonyon
that will take you far.
It fills your belly to the brim
especially with a side of fried snapper or chicken.
Listen…

Arroz con gandulez?!
honey, pass me a spoon
I want to taste
I love the food that we make.
A Caribbean plate with manyok, and akra fried to perfection
Bacalaitos, maduros and banan
Friend, I am on my way in a full on run.
Add a little sazon so I know that it’s real
Empanadas and alcapurrias seal the deal
the meal is your love revealed.

Some banan peze with pikliz on top?
We might have to get married, full stop.
I’ll get my dress and you get the chodyè
You want patat fri? that’s my pleasure.
The pate, the epis, and the tasso cabrit
It looks good but tastes better and I don’t even eat meat.
Boy, you finna make me get on one knee.
You gonna cook for me?
I think it’s destiny.

Let’s hold hands, so they know you’re my man.
I’ll make you a plate to follow klan rules.
You serve me, I serve you too.
A bowl of joumou for me, and sancocho for you.

red beans, black rice, it all sounds nice
us dancing through the night
cause you offered me a plate
of Arroz con gandules on our first date.

I’m going sailing today
I knew I had to find a way
to kiss my fears goodbye.
So rather than cry, I chose a boat.
Something small, with a room down below.
So if a storm came
we could wait it out somewhere safe
This is not on a row boat on a gentle stream
But this life feels like a dream.

Walking the dock in the summer heat
Looking down at my feet
carrying me to a new opportunity.
The boat is right in from of me
all I have to do is get on.
The water is calm
the winds are favorable
I’m feeling strong.
So, I’m going sailing today.

The world is my place to walk on water
Faith never yielding
Though dark nights may arise,
I know I will still fly along side the one who rescued me

His eyes are bright
like fire a blaze
his face shines in glory
I am amazed that he loves me.

Every moment I believe
that he is here with me,
that I can hear his voice in everything,
from a tiger’s growl to a bird’s song.
I know he is the one I’m hearing from.

They asked him on their angry breath
”why are you here, Jesus of Nazareth?”
And he simply replied “be quiet and go.”
That’s how I know
The world is my place to walk on water.

I trust in your authority.
If you said it, it will come to be
and you will be in it with me
all I can do is trust you
and know your words are already true.
Cause the tantrum that the demons threw
when they came in contact with you
showed the whole world what you can do.
you say to me “Keep your hand in mine
and we will be fine.“
That’s how I know that
The world is my place to walk on water

I will keep the faith that the doors you are opening cannot be closed
and that the city on the hill will not be hidden.
You’re like a mother hen, protecting me with your wings.

Here comes the later rain of blessings.
Your decrees have been received.

The world is my place to walk on water
I will keep the faith in my loving Heavenly Father
and simply rest in you.
There is nothing else to do,
except to pack my water walking shoes.
I’m ready to step with you.

Every good boy does fine
until he starts to play with your mind
feeding you lines then asking for space
measure for measure he plays in your face.
playing you like the keys of a grand piano
until you tell him he has got to go.

Then he changes his tune.
but this rhythm bring blues
and you just can not continue.

You know what comes next
as he modulates up a step
asking to move in cause he just can’t be apart
So, you change the key to your heart
so he cant repeat the line.
He knows it’s CODA time.
the song is over.

Then he cries
and you missed the way
he plucked your strings,
so you play the song again,
knowing it will end

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Once upon a time,
you underestimated me.
I cared so deeply— just wanted you to see
the kind of person I could be.

So I worked really hard
and hoped that would be enough
for you to finally accept me.

But one day, I woke the fuck up.
And realized: I could fill my own cup.
So I turned all that effort inward.
And showing up for me became its own reward.

Now, I don’t feel the need to prove you wrong.
Because you never intended to love me all along.
You’ve extracted the very last penny from me.

I’m steeping in my villain era—
and this is the origin story.
I don’t need validation,
or support, or compassion.
I give it to myself in droves—through my actions.

And when you finally begin to see me,
I will have forgotten your name.
Forgotten that you were
once my greatest opp, lying to me.

So now,
I embrace the villainy.
I reclaim my ability
to speak things into existence,
to build from scratch,
and make my own –anator, just like that.

To turn the whole sky dark and cackle out loud,
dancing through fire, feeling proud—
your thoughts and opinions?
Now in their place:
under my feet, inside of a grave.

The dead know nothing—
because they aren’t alive.
But I speak words of life,
and that’s why I thrive.

So when you see me
there in the western skies,
you’ll realize: I knew you lied.

You tried to keep me controlled.
But I was born to rattle steeples,
to redirect your eyes,
and unveil the size
of your ever-inflated ego and tiny heart.

My dear, we have always been worlds apart.
My valley has always been your mountaintop.

I saw the sand
and thought it was the desert
But I was on the beach
I ran towards the water
and that is what healed me.

I still pine for you
I want you outside my door
like John Cusack with a boombox
above your head
declaring your love

But then I’m reminded
that your bucket wasn’t big enough
to hold all I offered

So, I let a single tear drop
and went back to tending to my flowers
cause I know they will grow for me.

Whenever I think about you
I envision a celebrity death match type feud

In the ring I grab you by your eye sockets
and pull your body in half,
And laugh
as I watch your guts spill out.

No doubt it would be a gruesome fight.
The audience cheering at your plight.

A cheese grater, a dynamite.
A bowling ball dropped from a ridiculous height.
The cartoon revenge montage that ends with you bandaged up
with birds flying around your head.

I see us as Wiley E Coyote and the road runner,
cause I’m just a bird.
You keep setting traps for me,
and they keep turning back on you.

I see you flat as a pancake on the road
cause you tried to paint a cave on the side of mountain
thinking would crash
but i just ran through

I see you blown up by your own TNT.

And as the commentators discuss
how hard it must have been
to fall in your own traps,
I just laugh.

Meep meep and run off again.

I thought we could be friends.
We are all women after all,
fighting the same oppressive systems.
or

so I thought

It seems that you are fine hierarchy
especially when it benefits your desires and needs.

But alas,
a claymation death match is alright with me
cause fiction mimics reality.
I still win.
Im the champion.

Make love to me again the way that you did when you thought it was our last time.
The way you kissed me, the way you stared into my eyes,
The whispers of I love you as you said goodbye.
as I lay between your thighs.

That last time together, with you on top of me,
rocking your hips rhythmically,
with your groans of pleasure coming in from a deep place.
whispering thank you as I came with you.
We lay there…breathless. your head on my chest.
Me, wondering what’s next.

You get up, and I get up too
cleaned up, dressed up
romance on snooze.
As you shared your news.
You wouldn't return.

Your eyes looked like deep pools.
I could see the tears you held back.
And I still yearn for those quiet moments on the couch.

Your notebook in hand, taking meticulous notes.
Your legs thrown over mine.
Just sitting with me, not asking anything of me.
And I’m content, cause you’re just so pretty.